Dilemma One: Money vs. Well-being
 

A child was transferred from the bilingual department of a school into the international department and showed signs they were not quite able to integrate into the class. As he came across a friend of similar ability at the time, parent's shrugged off the advice from the teacher to try to do some more homework and hire a tutor to bring the child up to a level where they could comfortably learn. Throughout the year, the school management noted that this child was struggling and outside of their Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD). When learning in a large group or small group, he would absorb twenty per cent of what was being taught.

The teacher suggested talking to the parents as this child's social skills were regressing as he could not communicate in the strict English only environment present in the class. Even with special focus given to the child during transitions or free play to help him learn with some one-on-one time with the teacher, he still could not reach the same ZPD as the class. The school did not want to suggest the child transfer back to the bilingual department as the international department gets more money from the parents. The school suggested the teacher try harder to pull the child's level up to match the rest of the class by any means necessary as long as it did not involve outside help.

The teacher was left wondering whether they should go outside the school to inform the parents of their worries for the child's social emotion learning regression and minimal educational learning. Or continue to allow the child to learn minimal amounts to get more money than they otherwise would if the child was in the bilingual department.

 

Dilemma One: Money vs. Well-being

A child that is extremely smart in kindergarten has struggled over the year with his SEL development. He often does not understand how to make or maintain friends or interact in social groups. Usually, he is a class clown that does not quite understand that he is not so much entertaining the class so much as himself and one or two other boys with similar behaviour management issues. When writing the home to the parents the school likes to tone down the problems he encounters and only report the serious issues that leave a mark on another child.

The teacher would like to involve parents in developing a Behaviour Intervention Plan (BIP) to try to create a coordinated effort at home and at school to help the child develop socially appropriate behaviour that will lead him to have more fulfilling interactions in his social life. The school does not want to admit that he has not learnt the SEL teachings as well as the other children feeling that it looks bad on the school's ability to teach children. The teacher feels at a loss without the support from the school and permission to involve the parents in tackling this struggle the child is facing.

I replied to:

 

Ty'Nae Harrison's Dilemma Two

In this situation, I would listen to the complaint, but before acting, I would investigate the situation to ensure that it wasn't worse than reported or exaggerated. After investigating the problem and determining whether there was physical abuse or not, I would approach the teacher, explain the situation, and suggest ways to control the students without pinching. I would then recommend they talk to the principal about the issue as I would have to speak to the principal and present what I found before the end of the week. I would also suggest to the principal that if this was a school-wide issue with control, we have a brainstorming session to share techniques that work or some similar teacher training day.

I would do this because it would not be right to ignore physical abuse once brought to my attention, as we owe the students a safe environment for learning.

What led me to this decision is the respect I would give my coworker and the need for them to have the opportunity to come forward to ask for help from the principal. But also my commitment to providing a safe learning environment for children would not allow me to ignore the issue.

I have been so frustrated by a child not listening to your SEL teachings and causing trouble in the class that is not appropriate. The aggressive behaviour was not directed at me but at the other children in my class which was just as hurtful for me.

I would attempt to engage the students to talk about rules and develop some rules that we can all agree to follow. After setting these rules, we could discuss rewards for the children who can follow these rules over a week and consequences for those who cannot follow these rules. After setting up this, I would ensure all teachers in the class follow the rules and uphold them firmly. If we do not take the rules seriously, the children will learn they do not need to either.

 

Ty'Nae Harrison's Dilemma One

This type of behaviour should not be tolerated as it makes the kindergarten unsafe for other students and the teachers. Nobody should be abused or hurt, and it is our responsibility to teach children the correct ways to manage their emotions. Obviously, it has gone on for so long in this situation even after the teachers have reached out for support, which has emboldened the child to do it consistently. So to start with, I would try to introduce some SEL books and plan some lessons around SEL objectives. I would also check in with the child in question to check what they learn after the lessons and talk them through how to understand what was taught. I would try to acknowledge their feelings and try get them to understand why they feel this way and what the consequences may be for acting in this particular way.

 

I assume this had already been done, and this is why the teacher reached out to the principal for help. Ideally, the principal would have taken the issue more seriously, but it can be understandable they have many things to take care of. If my plea for help from the principal had been thwarted, I would continue my original approach while gathering evidence to back up my claim to the principal. After gathering enough evidence, I would bring this to the principal with the investigation stage of a Behaviour Intervention Plan (BIP) completed and request that we reach out to the family and a social worker to finish and implement the BIP.

 

I would do this because it seems that this behaviour has been consistent and is probably an entrenched part of this child's behaviour. To correct this behaviour, it needs support in all areas of their life to guide them towards correct social-emotional behaviours.

 

The fact the principal is dismissing the requests from the teacher for assistance shows they do not fully understand the situation and are underestimating the problem. By showing evidence of how the child interacts outside of the principal's office, we can quickly move past the issue and work on a solution. This evidence gathering is also needed for the BIP investigation stage and can help you as a teacher try to analyse the child's triggers and what makes them act in these ways. 

 

I have a similar situation with a child who finds it hard to behave and if left to their own devices, will hurt other children as they cannot control their emotions, especially anger. Luckily the principal did a week in my class while I was away on holiday and dealt with these issues first hand. This experience made the principal more sympathetic to our requests for help.

 

As discussed above, the solutions I would try are group SEL, follow up SEL conversations to check they understood the SEL concept being taught. Following this, I would start to develop a BIP and complete the investigation stage as best I can in class to bring to the principal. Then we would hopefully continue the investigation at home, coordinating with home and school to develop a plan we can all stick to.

 

Minchan Kim's Dilemma Two - Emma's behaviors

In this situation, I would tell Emma off when she was doing the wrong thing. It could be that she was not doing it to be aggressive, and she thought it was playful. It would be good to pull the two to the side if it was before or close to after a lesson and get Emma to tell the other child why she had kicked her chair.

 

I would do this because it draws attention to the issue and involves other children seeing her and the child she showed aggressive behaviour being pulled to the side. This response also lets the teacher know about the problem and that you are dealing with it. This method also gives you more authority in the situation as Emma now knows that she will be told off if caught by you.

 

The fact that Emma was comfortable displaying these behaviours around you but hid them from others shows she feels you have less authority to reprimand her for her aggressive behaviour. Of course, this becomes harder if the teacher does not delegate the power to you, the teaching assistant, to teach children about how to manage aggressive behaviour.

 

I have seen many children trying to sneakily do something outside of my direct eyesight or behind my back. When caught, I make a point of calling them out for their behaviour. Even if I cannot directly see you, you have no right to be aggressive towards another child.

 

In these situations, it is essential the teacher is on board with you and gives you the freedom to pull a naughty child to the side to engage in some SEL. I would talk to the teacher about what they would like you to do in these situations and how you can best bring their attention to the issue. If this girl is trying to play the parents against you, then the teacher should address the problem when it occurs for a short while to establish a rule that it is unacceptable. Once she is on board with intervening in this child's aggressive behaviour, it makes it easier for other teachers in the class to follow suit.

Minchan Kim's Dilemma One - Take her to the school bus, but she refuses and waiting for her parents
This is difficult as the child is emotionally stressed, missing her parent's and is not thinking too clearly as her emotions cloud her judgment. I would try to acknowledge her feelings of missing her parents and try to give her a relatable story of another child or from my childhood. I would try to let her know that when she gets on the school bus, she will be closer to seeing her parents again. I would also try to distract her with a call to her parents encouraging her to get on the bus or provide her with a soft toy as a distraction and ask if she can take care of the soft toy and take it home tonight. 

 

I would do this as we cannot physically force the child onto the bus, and the main problem right now is her uncontrolled emotions.

 

What led me to this decision is a previous situation I had with a child that also missed her mum at school. I acknowledged how she felt and encouraged her to be a big girl and have fun today with me so that she could tell her mum all the cool things she did today. 

 

The strategies I would use are distractions, acknowledging her feelings, talking her through the situation, and encouraging her to be a strong and brave girl.

 

Rossany Belandria Vargas's Dilemma Two - Tony’s Mom Wants Him to Nap, but Tony does not Nap.

I have had some experience with some children who struggle to sleep and disrupt the other children while sleeping. What I like to do is get them extremely tired just before lunch. This tactic works for some children but needs the teacher to be active during outdoor playtime. We usually start our playtime with stretches and then running around the playground, which is maybe 800 meters or more. I let most children do two laps, but I encourage the restless sleepers to follow me for six laps. I gamify this by saying anyone that passes me and stays ahead of me gets ￥5 reward money, and all those that do the six laps get ￥1. The children who don't sleep well generally do not earn much reward money, giving them an excellent chance to make some reward money and burn their energy each day.

 

After we started doing this, three out of four restless sleepers easily slept. This way it achieves what the mum wants while following the school schedule for sleep. The root of this problem is not so much disobedience but the fact the child is not tired. The child doesn't want to just lay on his bed without sleeping and has even tried to keep himself preoccupied with quietly reading a book during nap time.

 

Rossany Belandria Vargas's Dilemma One - A Different Driver Comes to Pick Up Anh and She Refuses to go with Him.

This situation seems like a difficult one as there could be more to it. First, I would bring the child inside away from the driver and other distractions and ask her why she doesn't want to go home with this driver. I would tell her that her parents have asked her to go home with this driver and think the driver is a good person. I will then ask her if she thinks this driver is a good person.

 

I have never had an issue with a child not wanting to go home with a parent or caregiver that comes to pick them up, and as far as I know, none of my kids has a chauffeur that collects them from school.

 

I would do this because she has never had an issue with any of her past drivers, and it seems suspicious that she doesn't want to go home. The noticeable change in her reactions to all the drivers and this driver, in particular, indicates there could be something about this driver that makes her feel uncomfortable. It could be as innocent as the driver does not let her play the music she wants in the car, but it could also be more serious. 

 

An investigation with the child privately and monitoring it over the next few trips are the strategies I would take. If the child made any serious accusations, I would report it to the parents and request a different driver come pick her up. Even without serious accusations, I would suggest the parents talk to the child at home to figure out her reasons for displaying this behaviour for this particular driver.